How to Catch a Break!

At the age of 39, I would have expected the unpredictable to have leveled out a bit in my life. Yet, it seems quit the opposite.  No matter what area of my life I seem to have under control, there are other areas that simply explode in my face. Can you relate?

For instance, it's December, and you all know that means the holidays are among us. This usually means a little financial juggling for our family. Shifting some bills around to make a little wiggle room for presents. (This is where I hear Dave Ramsey ranting in my head: "Christmas comes every 12 months! You know this! Why have you not planned ahead and saved money for this????" Can I get an AMEN!!!)  But this year, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to catch a break. I normally take adversity in stride, knowing God has a plan and simply waiting it out. This year He is really testing my patience...or my juggling skills, not sure which! lol

Image by Renjith Krishnan.

Recently, my husband had to go to the ER for a burn on his arm. He tried to go to the clinic, a $60 visit, but it was lunch time so they sent him to the ER instead: a $700 visit. Do the math on that one! A week ago, my son hurt his foot while playing.  It appeared to be okay, but now it is hurting him again. This will require an x-ray very soon to determine what is needed.  All of a sudden, my daughter's eyes have decided they need glasses and her teeth refuse to come in straight! Not to mention we are still paying off medical bills from my broken leg a year ago! (Yes, we have some insurance but it never covers everything!)

Normally, we find creative ways to make all our ends meet. We catch a break somewhere and it all comes together. But, right now nothing is turning out that way. I know the Lord says to cast all my cares on him and be anxious for nothing, and that is what I'm trying to do. But, in the honor of full disclosure I have to say... I am anxious. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. Not just because I may not get my Christmas gifts purchased, but because we have some real needs that are going unmet at the moment. Because I'm embarrassed that I can't pay my bills on time or maybe even at all right now. Because I am letting people down - I don't like to let people down! Because I am a Christian and I feel like I'm setting a terrible example! Because I am a responsible adult, contributing to society, holding down a good job (two actually) and it still isn't enough. It is not enough.

So, I sit and I wait. I've done everything I can do in my own strength. I've turned over every leaf I know to turn.  This one is out of my control.

Honestly, when I let go of that CONTROL is usually when God shows up and shows off. So, I sit and wait for him to do just that!  While I may be frustrated and anxious, I know where my hope comes from! I am NOT without HOPE because I serve a mighty God. He hasn't forgotten me. His ways are higher than my ways. So, I will sit and wait to catch my break from Him.

God bless you all! Merry Christmas.

Keeping it Real

Sometimes, the things that make me think a little deeper can be very strange things! Recently, I downloaded a new cd by Mandisa. The title is "What if we were real". Leading up to the release of this cd, I had been reading several tweets by Mandisa and how this album came about. She became very frustrated with herself, her struggle with weight, etc., and one day she blurted something out on twitter. Something very real to what she was struggleing with that day. I have to admit, I've always thought her tweets were more real than something I would but out for the public to see. (Let me be very clear, she is always tasteful and is never putting out information to get attention. But, she tells the truth about exactly what she is doing that day.) Somedays are up and some are down.

This has had me thinking about being real with people. I always try to be authentic with people, yet I'm not sure I really do a good job of speaking what is on my heart. Sometimes I'm not even sure what is stirring in my heart! lol  I don't always have the words to describe how something affects me. I certainly rarely have the words to describe what God is trying to do in my life. Sometimes, I'm not even spending enough time with God to give any advice on that category. Now that is real!! lol

One day recently, God gave me two situations where people were very real with me. In just a matter of "hello how is it going?" two different people poured their heart out to me about some very tough stuff going on in their life. I was blown away they trusted me enough to share this information. I was reminded that people are real, if we will just listen. And, I was reminded that my heart needs to be open to really hear what they are saying. And, I was challenged to be more real with people. They don't want or need fake Christianity. They need the real deal! I appreciate it when folks are real, so why would they feel any different?

Now, I'm not saying go and tell everyone your problems, but you know who you can trust. You know who has a heart for Jesus. You know a kindred spirit when you see one! So, share! Open up, be honest! You might just be surprised what God will do with it.

Bad News

A friend emailed yesterday with bad news: her brother-in-law, the father to her only niece, has just found out he has cancer.  That is bad news. But, what makes it even worse news is that her sister, the mother to her only niece, just passed away four years prior with cancer.  Pretty tough to swallow, and all I could think was, "this isn't fair."

Immediately after hearing this bad news, I felt compelled to have a little "what for" talk with the Lord.  I am not sure why I do that. I know it's not his fault. We simply live in a broken world full of many diseases.  I tried to think of some encouraging words for my friend. The only thing that came to mind was (paraphrasing) don't borrow tomorrow's troubles because today has enough of it's own.  I didn't tell her that. I just tried to love and hug her through email while holding back my tears.

This morning I ran across this verse in Matthew 13:17, "For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it." Jesus was talking about the coming of the Messiah. Many had already given their lives to preach this message but never actually seen him.  They didn't live long enough - and some of them lived a long time! Yet, Jesus' current audience was seeing scripture fulfilled.

Reading this verse today gave me a glimmer of hope for the future. Many are down on their knees praying for a cure for cancer, probably much like our grandparents prayed for a cure for small pocks.  Yet, like these many righteous men who never got to see Jesus, we may never see the cure for cancer in our lifetime. But, we shall continue to pray because our kids or grand kids may be the ones who receive it. Plus, we serve a big God and sometimes people are healed. I was.

Even though it seems like the odds are stacked against you when you hear that terrible "C" word, pray anyway.  Don't let the devil get you down! Stand up and fight! And remember, Jesus did show up.

Staying Committed

Last night I was cooking dinner and my kids were cleaning their room. My son comes out and says, "This is hard and I don't like doing it!" Understandable.  I tell him, "We never like doing the hard stuff, but anything worth doing is going to be hard."

Then, it occurred to me that Jesus did the hard stuff for me.  He died on the cross, not me. He was tortured and brutally killed, not me.  I don't even have to go through the rituals that people did in the old testament times. I don't have to kill a sacrifice and bring it to the temple.  I just have to ask for forgiveness and it is given. How easy is that?

While I'm extremely grateful to live in this day and age, it occurred to me that I take my faith for granted because I'm not the one who had to do the hard stuff.  It was done for me.  Yet, I still have a torch to carry to the next generation. If my light goes out, so goes the faith of my children and their children. While I may not have to bring a burnt offering to the Lord, I still have things that I need to do like reading the Word, sharing my faith, sewing into my kids faith.  These are not things I would consider hard. The hard part is simply staying committed and conscious of doing them.